Posted by Dating Guru
on February 8, 2013 at 2:17 AM
You all have songs that stick with you throughout the day, or even your life, that make you cry, laugh or even dance when you hear them. Once you’ve listened to a favorite song often enough, chances are you have the words memorized. So what take-aways on love do these songs offer?
Since we are in Grammy season, we thought it would be fun to look at the six songs nominated for “Record of the Year” and see what romantic dating advice can be derived from them. When you hear about love in a favorite song, it can’t be wrong. Right?
1) “WE ARE YOUNG”/Fun.
“We are young so let's set the world on fire. We can burn brighter than the sun.”
On the surface, these lyrics seem to be about youthful energy and the ability to do anything one wants or can think of. Once, however, you get beyond the refrain, there is a classic dating saga: Guy hurts girl and has apologized because he knows he’s wrong. She’s off to a bar to drink away her sorrows and try to move on. He shows up and wants her back. By the end of the night, he wants to be the one to take her home. “So if by the time the bar closes, and you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home tonight.”
The dating advice here: Girl, don’t go home with him. He’s already hurt you and he’s trying to get you back. And you’re not thinking rationally post-alcohol. There is an underlying reason why you fought, had problems and broke-up in the first place. If he takes you home, and you let him in, it won’t be long before you’re singing Taylor’s "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together." Sometimes, when newly out of a relationship, feeling lonely and not adjusting quite as quickly as you had hoped to, you romanticize what was, remembering only the best aspects of the relationship, instead of evaluating it more objectively. Your best move of the night was to be in the bar to try and move on.
2) “LONELY BOY”/ Black Keys
“I got a love that keeps me waiting. I got a love that keeps me waiting. I’m a lonely boy. I’m a lonely boy.”
The lyrics in this Black Keys song can simply be about a guy who is annoyed because he is being kept waiting by a girl or, and most likely, a guy whose desire is being thwarted because his girl is holding out and he is lonely as a result.
The dating advice on waiting: While guys complain about having to continually wait for their ladies, a lack of punctuality can be annoying; but punctuality doesn’t even come close to the top of females’ annoying habits as determined by men. List toppers include crying over what seems like nothing, becoming either too clingy or too independent, and continually asking about males’ exes. Guys just start showing up later to accommodate her lateness and, if she doesn’t like it, she’ll start moving faster in the readying process. You could find yourself back on your schedule.
The dating advice when she might be intentionally holding out: Sexual tension is that desire for her that is somehow thwarted, whether by circumstance, obstacles or by design. In this song, it seems by design. And since guys are known to wait for what they can’t have, you, the lonely guy, waits. Time for you to make your girl feel a slight attachment anxiety like she did in the beginning; that you aren’t dependent on her and can walk away. And you can make her a little jealous. The higher your value in a social market, the more she will be encouraged to keep you happy. You won’t be a lonely boy for long.
3) “STRONGER (WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU)”/Kelly Clarkson
“What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stand a little taller. Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter. Footsteps even lighter. Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.”
Ali Tamposi, one of the song’s writers, revealed that the song was inspired by German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s quote, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger"; used often by Ali’s mother as advice to her during her youth. Clarkson loved the song and its empowerment theme and felt it representative of her own life.
While the song title is cliché, there is a positive dating message here. You can be hurt by a relationship but you can come through the experience stronger, more confident and ready to move on to something better. Hallelujah!
4) “SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW”/ Gotye featuring Kimbra
“But you didn't have to cut me off. Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I don't even need your love. But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough. No you didn't have to stoop so low. Have your friends collect your records and then change your number. I guess that I don't need that though. Now you're just somebody that I used to know.”
Another classic dating saga: She breaks up with him, and even though he admits he didn't love her enough, he's upset she cut him out of her life completely. She feels this is unfair because she tried to make things work but realizes they didn't work because he could not let go of his prior girlfriend.
The dating advice: She was right to leave if he was not yet over an ex. He definitely isn’t ready for a new relationship. He should not want to remain friends post-breakup because a friendship rarely works. Lastly, he needs to sing Clarkson’s song “Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)” over and over until he becomes more confident and ready to move on.
5) “THINKIN BOUT YOU”/ Frank Ocean
“When I'm thinkin bout you (ooh, no, no, no). I've been thinkin bout you (you know, know, know).
I've been thinkin bout you. Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya? Or do you not think so far ahead (ahead)? 'Cause I been thinkin bout forever (Oooh, oooh).”
The lyrics explore feelings of love, loss, regret and heartbreak. Ocean published an open letter on his Tumblr blog last summer recounting unreturned feelings he had for someone of the same sex, citing it as his first true love.
Many suspect the song is about Ocean’s bisexuality revelation but “Thinkin Bout You” should be evaluated as a love song and applicable to an experience many have had. One person is truly in love and thinks about a long-term relationship and the other person is just in the relationship for the moment. The person who wants the lifelong commitment will have to meet someone seeking the same. With an ex, you often miss the memories and not really the person.
6) "WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER"/ Taylor Swift
“We are never ever ever getting back together. We are never ever ever getting back together.
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me. But we are never ever ever ever getting back together. Like, ever...”
OK, this is obvious. The message is ...they are never ever ever getting back together. But this is about a couple that has broken up and gotten back together on multiple occasions. The truth is, they shouldn’t have gotten back together never ever. There was an underlying problem in their relationship that made them unsuited for each other to begin with (Reread “We Are Young”). Believing once that it could work again might be alright. But attempting reunions multiple times has a high probability of never ever working.
As with all Taylor Swift songs, the question becomes who she wrote the song about. At 2012’s iHeart Radio Music Festival, Taylor mentions “Jake” during her performance so all bets are on Jake Gyllenhall as the song’s antagonist. Whoever the ex is, they will never ever get back together.
You can find lessons about love in each of these Grammy-nominated songs. Music is the universal language, and when it comes to love, these songs may contain words you want to hear, or sing along with, when you’re thinking about love; past or present. So which Grammy-nominated song has your favorite love lesson?