Dream Buzz

Join us as we provide top dating insights, stories about dreams and dreams-come-true, and romantic advice that can help you catch the eye of your dream date!

Four Actions to Take to Get Beyond Your Ex
Posted by Dating Guru on February 15, 2014 at 4:21 PM

The decision to move on from a person and a relationship wasn't an easy one to make but you did it. Now you're awake at night and distracted at work because you can't stop thinking about your decision. "Did I do the right thing?" is the question you keep asking yourself over and over. You're not rational enough at all moments to realize that there were good and valid reasons you needed to shut the door on this past…but you just can't seem to do it.

You're still cyber stalking your ex, texting him or her late at night, casually finding out through your circle of friends what your ex is up to and then, you end up in bed for that one last time. You can't let these activities go on for too long because you are wasting time and putting off your future happiness.

Here are some ideas to help you avoid the mental and physical encounters during this stressful time so you can put your ex behind you and enter a new world with new possibilities.
1) Focus on the reasons you moved on. The problem is, now that you have more alone time, you're thinking about how perfect he or she is and that you really should still be together. WHOA (and this is said with greater emphasis than all caps)! You need to write out the negatives…all those little things that bothered you throughout the relationship, especially when you decided to end it. And keep that long, long list where you can see it or go to it at all times, like in the notes on your phone. You need to bury that idealized version you have of your ex and get ready to create a list of long, long positives for someone new.

2) Rid yourself of reminders. Yes, you need to delete the voice mails so you stop listening to them over and over just to hear the sound of their voice. Throw away the teddy bear from the fair or the wine bottle from a past anniversary. You need to put out of sight all the little mementos that trigger thoughts of them. Hopefully out of mind will follow.

What you really don't want to do is start thinking of items that your ex may still have that you feel you can't live without. Be honest with yourself. You can easily go on without that Maroon Five concert t-shirt, can't you?

3) Step into your new world. That's right, you're leaving your comfort zone, all those habits and routines, to find new adventures and embrace a new life. When was the last time you took a getaway with friends, even just for the weekend? You wanted to try karate but you never had the time. Isn't there that Excel class that could help advance your career or, at the very least, your ability to forecast a new business idea? How about the new restaurants and clubs that you didn't get to because you just started eating in?  Now is the time to step up and step out.

4) Get your game back on. This is the perfect time for you to get out with friends. You know when you're in a relationship your friends can't help but become semi-strangers. And they've told you they don't feel like they even know you anymore. So it's time to reconnect and get out of the social circle you were in with your ex. Meet new people in different circles. Spend time with your friends in new places. Expand your social circle.

Have fun. When was the last time you flirted with someone? Or had multiple people approach you on a night out? Be out enjoying this time.

You may not be ready to seriously date even if you feel having someone new is what you need. Don't take up someone's time and interest if you need to cry on their shoulder and share stories about how your ex "done you wrong." Use this time for lighthearted social outings and it won't be long before you're ready to focus your attention on romantic possibilities.

Yes, there are going to be times when you feel like your life just can't go on if you don't go back but the good news is you're going to get through this period of time. Take the suggestions here and set yourself up for your big love; the love that will end up being your future. You may not believe it at this moment, but there really are bluer skies ahead.

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Valentine's Day Can be a Single's Day to Celebrate
Posted by Dating Guru on February 10, 2014 at 3:58 AM

The day some singles have come to dread is almost here and, of course, we refer to Valentine's Day as well as Single Awareness Day, both occurring on February 14th. But being single on this day, or any other day, is really not a bad thing. We suggest you embrace the day, as with every other day, and make the most of it. Of course there are actions we recommend you avoid, which are specific to the day.

Make the most of the day:

1) Celebrate Single Awareness Day. Contrary to belief, Valentine's Day celebrates not only romantic love, but also love between family and friends. This day gives us a reason to see special people in our lives that we don't get to see often enough. So what better way to enjoy this day but with a group of best friends or family? Go to a favorite restaurant or bar. Chances are you will run into other singles and it's up to you what happens next.

2) Do something nice for someone. Do you want to really feel good? Do something nice for someone else. Give back. Join a volunteer organization or help a friend who's down. Your friend just went through a bad break up? All those stories she tells that you can't possibly hear one more time? Listen again. Help to change someone's day.

3) Don't assume the grass is greener. So much of the time we think that we'd be much happier if we could be in a relationship. There are those in relationships that wish they were single and envy your life. Instead of going into self-love being the most important love, how about this? If you decide you want to watch a movie, avoid the rom coms. Instead, go to this list of 22 movies that will have you being happy you are single. http://bit.ly/buzzfeedsingle

4) No forced holiday for you. There's always something that feels good about being able to do whatever you want. You're under no obligation to do anything but what you please. No forced fun for you. Enjoy!

5) You can get ready….or not. There's no pressure for you to figure out what to wear. Maybe you'll decide you don't want to wear anything at all. Take a long hot bath or watch television in your underwear. Wear what you please. We'll never tell.

6) Do what you want to do. This could be the day you do your favorite thing or make a commitment to try something new. Go to the gym and work out or start the novel you've wanted to write. Make this the day to do something for you.

7) Patience is a virtue. If a new love is what you want, your time will come. Make sure you are taking the right action steps to meet the person of your dreams http://bit.ly/IDOUny. Until then, practice patience. After all, patience is a virtue someone will want to see in you.

8) Treat yourself to something you love. Feel like being a little decadent? You've been so good since making your New Year's resolution to diet. If it makes you feel better, take an intentional time out and go for your favorite sweet or salt of choice. Chocolate anyone?

Have a better day and night:

1) Don't drunk text an ex. Whatever you do, don't use this day to reach out to an ex. And stay away from your phone if you're drinking. There's NO reason to go backwards in life. NO reason.

2) Don't go out with someone you don't like. You don't want to go out with somebody or anybody just to be out "valentining." You're going to have more fun if you're with family or friends who you know you love.

3) Don't buy yourself flowers. Sure, you're going to wish that it were you when coworkers get flowers at the office. We've heard about those who have ordered their own flowers or chocolates. Please don't let it be you. Instead, be happy for the recipients of gifts and practice your patience virtue…and your smile.

4) Don't go out on a first date. This is not the day for a first date if you're only going out so you're not alone on Valentine's Day. C'mon…you know that if you don't have a fabulous first date, and you know how often this happens, you're going to end up feeling worse than if you'd stayed home.

5) Don't give a gift that might be misconstrued. Think about the relationship stage you are in before you get a gift that might not be appropriate. If you're in a new relationship, guys- don't give lingerie and ladies- don't give a guy the latest expensive gadget. Something simple and heartfelt, or something that represents a moment in your new relationship, is just right.

6) Don't be alone if you feel blue. Use this night to celebrate friendship and family. Spend time with those you love and you never know who else you might meet. You're not the only person who's single, even if you feel like you are. With over seven billion people in the world, chances are good that there are many new people for you to meet. If you feel you have to be alone, watch one of the movies recommended in #4 above.

7) Don't overlook the good. Be grateful for what you do have. This sounds so simple but there are always times when you need to reflect on what's good in your life. Perhaps this is one of your times.

Use Valentine's Day to celebrate your singleness, even if you choose not to acknowledge Single Awareness Day. Enjoy time with friends and family, do your favorite activity or do nothing at all. This is your 24 hours to celebrate your life. And, if all our suggestions fail, hug your dog.

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Is Now the Time to Say Good-Bye to Your Relationship?
Posted by Dating Guru on January 13, 2014 at 7:59 PM

Cold temperatures aren't the only thing frosty about January — it's also widely known as the "break-up" month because more couples split up during January than at any other time of the year. Couples stay together for the holiday good times and put off the inevitable breakup until January.
Are you thinking of ending your current relationship? Here are some reasons, and not good ones, you may be staying in your relationship. Could it be time for you to think about finding a truer love and a better tomorrow?
1) You can recapture those loving feelings: First, you have to ask yourself if you really can recapture your feelings. If your partner is doing everything that he or she has always done and you’re just not feeling it, take action. You need to rethink why you started a relationship with this person in the first place. What was it about this person and your relationship that you found attractive? Has the relationship changed or have your needs changed? If your partner has changed their treatment of you, you need communicate what it is you need. Own your relationship and put in play actions to make it work. You don’t want to ask yourself what might have been. But once you determine you can’t go back, you can start asking yourself what might be.
2) This is just a temporary bump in the road: Much of what is true in recapturing those loving feelings is true here. Relationships, like so many other things in life, have up and down cycles. Are you down or are you done? Keep in mind that the first stage of a relationship, the romantic stage, lasts an average of eight months. When the enchantment wears off, there is work required to keep a relationship going. Work with your partner and, as a team, go the extra mile to appreciate your differences, find commonalities and focus on the fixables. If this doesn’t work and you’re feeling the clock ticking, then perhaps you have reached the fork in the road and your decision is to part ways. 
3) You’ve never met anyone else you like better….and you’re afraid you never will: OK. Growing up, did you ever have to change schools? You had to leave all that was familiar for unknowns. And you never would have gone unless your parents took you kicking and screaming. You’re now faced with the adult version of this decision and find it even harder to take the necessary action. But remember when you made the change as a kid? You ended up with new friends in a new place. And you weren’t worse off; perhaps you liked life even more. You can do the same with your current relationship. Maybe it’s time to move to a better place.
4) You’re already looking for someone better and you just haven’t found that person yet: You can’t have one foot in and one foot out of a relationship. Take the foot out of your relationship, put it with your other foot and make sure both feet are pointing forward. What is so commonly said? You only regret the chances you didn’t take. Once you meet a new love, you won’t look back. Don’t stay in a relationship just to be in a relationship. 
5) You’ll look back with regret realizing this was the best you would ever have: If you feel stuck, unhappy and stressed, will you really regret moving forward? You have to live in the present and get beyond the “What ifs?” and create new best memories in what’s to come. Yes, letting go of someone you love sets them free but guess what? You’re set free as well. Accept that you’ve made a mistake, have learned from it and you’re ready to move on.
6) You already changed your life for this person:
Yes, you have moved across the country to start a new world
with this person. You’ve already embraced the unknown and now you’re faced with new unknowns. At least you know you can make a big change. Your living arrangements, work life and social life have already changed. While you may hate to go through the change process another time and maybe so soon, you know you can do it. Just make sure you’ve given the relationship everything you can and have been open in communicating with your partner. Even though you have changed your life to accommodate someone else’s, there’s no need or reason to stay in an unhealthy or sad situation.
With time, the hurt from ending a relationship will lessen, and you will open yourself up to new and better possibilities. Just remember, it is when you think you are past love that you can meet your last and true love.



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If First-Time Sex is the Question, What is the Answer?
Posted by Dating Guru on August 8, 2013 at 7:16 PM

You’ve met someone you really, really like. You think this can be “real.” So your question is “What time is the right time to have sex for the first time if you are looking for a serious relationship?” This is a very common dating topic and a subject you’ll be able to find on dating site after dating blog. Why? Because it’s a question we all would like to have the correct answer for.
Here are 5 common answers you will find for the right time to sleep with a new relationship interest:
1) They Have Passed the “3-Date Rule”: While there are no true rules around dating, and no one knows who created this one, it has been around for over 50 years. The 3-date rule says that the third date is the milestone in determining whether a woman or man will consent to sexual intimacy.  
Match.com anonymously surveyed 5,237 singles asking “How many dates does it take before you become intimate?” While almost 38% of respondents said they’d go for sex before the third date, the remaining 62% said it would be the third date or later before “the act” would be accomplished. So even if not a rule, the third date is when people are feeling comfortable enough with the other person to believe that the time is right.
2) When You Know You Are the Only One: You’re eager to see each other and you make an effort to spend time together. Your social time together has even expanded to include friends and family. So now you’ve both talked and determined you’re exclusive. The relationship has been officially rubber-stamped. The commitment process has started and you feel there could be a future here.
3) That Person Has Possessed You: The chemistry is definitely there. You’ve been overdoing it on the emoticons when you text this person and maybe you’re texting this person too much but they are texting you right back. This person is so much fun and their laugh plays over in your head, as does the way their lips turn up when they smile. And those lips…get you to thinking about all other parts of their body.
You’ve taken test drives with many passionate kisses and feel like you’re ready to buy. You’re feeling so connected to this person and, in addition to the kisses, have already had mental sex. So time for the real thing?
4) There is a Long-Term Vision: Sex can happen in a moment but a relationship can take time to cultivate. There becomes clarity for your true understanding of each other after spending time getting to know each other. Certainly, you feel connected at this point in time. But you’re also talking future; careers, honeymoon spots and number of kids.  The time could be now to seal your deal.
5) The Understanding is There: Finally! Someone totally gets you. This person relates to, and doesn’t judge you, for your past. You’re on common ground when you talk careers and life in general. She gets why you never liked Twilight and he knows that you are never going to look forward to seeing a Fast & Furious movie. You’re almost to the point where you can complete each other’s sentences and know each other’s thoughts. And you know you’re both thinking it’s time for intimacy.
Let me share a personal experience with the when-to-have-sex guidelines.  My guidelines for myself are that I want to have chemistry with someone and feel that there could be partnership potential. Marriage is not an objective. I would say, without really ever having put a number to it, that the third time I’m with someone is the earliest point at which I would want to have sex.
So here’s a story to show that personal guidelines aren’t always followed and the result can still be positive.  I was introduced to a guy at the gym (GYM GUY) through our mutual trainer. My training session followed his and he was always upbeat, funny and confident. We would always laugh when exchanging training quips in passing. So when my trainer told me GYM BOY wanted to go out, I wasn’t surprised and thought it could be a fun night. I just didn’t know how much fun I would have; perhaps too much?!
GYM BOY called to ask me out and we talked for over an hour. Good sign, right? The only alarm that went off in my head during this initial talk-time was when he asked, not too deep into the conversation, if I was home practicing writing his last name after my first name. Really?  He was a sales guy so I just laughed rather than let such a cheesy line break the date. He presented me with date options and I was up for any of them. We decided we’d go by boat to a restaurant from a dock that was right by his home. I just wasn’t thinking of what being close to his house at the end of the night might lead to.
I drove out to the island GYM BOY lived on with ingredients for appletinis; my drink of choice at the time. The sun changed to rain and our boat plans were thwarted. Instead, we watched the rain on the water; talking, drinking and laughing. Then we drove to dinner at a local Italian restaurant; more talking, drinking and laughing. I had gone from drinking vodka to wine and I had lost track of drink quantity as I was having so much fun. 
After dinner, we returned to his house, and there was no way I could drive home. The next thing I remember was getting out of his bed, going to the living room with him following and saying, “We can’t have sex. I think I really like you but this is only our first date.”
Then he informed me that “We already had sex.” I was confused as I didn’t recall having sex; a definite first for me. Everything after the passionate kisses was erased from my memory. Blame it on the a- a- a- a- a- alcohol. I sat on his couch thinking it all over for what was probably two minutes and headed back to the bed.
So there I was; breaking any rule, including my own, about when to have sex for the first time with someone new. So I started thinking through other rules. “Rules are made to be broken.” “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” “You are remembered for the rules you break.”  I decided these rules were preferable and possibly all could be applied.
The happy ending to my story is that I broke the rules, had lots of fun, stopped drinking appletinis and live with no remorse. GYM BOY and I dated for over two years (and had most memorable sex after the first time) and the reason the relationship ended had nothing to do with sex on the first date. We’re now friends and can still laugh with each other when doing sit-ups side by side at the gym.
In the end, you have to do what is right for you within your own moral code and hope that, however your relationship happens and whatever the outcome, you move on in life with no regrets if the romance ends. 


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Turn Your One Hit Wonder into Gold for an Award Winning Romance
Posted by Dating Guru on July 4, 2013 at 3:44 AM

We’ve all had them; the One-Hit Wonder. Perhaps you’ve heard the term used to describe performers with only one hit single. Here, we’re talking about those people we’ve gone gaga for because of that one irresistible trait that makes us crazy for them.
Take a look at this list. Which of these have you fallen for in the past (or present)?
1) Blinded By Science: Yes, the smart person. You fell for their brain. Then you wished they’d take off the smarty pants and have a little more fun. How about a conversation with words containing four or fewer syllables? How about a joke? A night at a rager? Yes, you felt intellectually enlightened but you now have a hard time watching an entire episode of The Big Bang Theory. 
2) Good Time Charlie: At first, you couldn’t believe how much fun you were having. Life became an unending party. But then, you missed classes and work along with much-needed sleep. How you long for the smarty pants in lieu of the party pants. There has to be a balance.
3) Smokin’ Hot: How fantastic to look at a person and not see a single flaw? You never saw such perfection. You even looked at their fingernails and saw “10”s. But then you started realizing that you have so little to talk about. After a month, just sitting and looking at someone is no longer as much fun.
4) Loving to Laugh: Bwhahahahah! No freaking way! I can't stop LAUGHING!!! OK…I’m ready to stop. Maybe I have heard the best Knock-Knock jokes ever but I’m actually ready for a tear-jerking movie that will bring me down. Trying to be the one-person audience for a comedian can be exhausting.
5) Embracing the Inner Self:  You found someone who expresses emotions creatively and inspires you to find your unique and valuable self through personal evolution. Your weekends are now dedicated to meditation and yoga. But you’re not sure you always want to be so chill. 
6) Hopeless Romantic: At first the Romeo and Juliet-like love story seemed that it would have a happy ending. Getting all mushy inside at the thought of a candlelight dinner made the heart skip beats. But then it became clear that chocolates, flowers and romcoms would not a well-balanced relationship make.
So you’ve realized that too much of one good thing is not enough. Sure, there can be one desirable characteristic but it can’t be the only wanted component of that person. So what do you do to make sure you don’t end up with a
One-Hit Wonder again?

This may sound old-school but take out your pen. OK. Guess this can be typed into your PC, tablet or phone. Prioritize which traits are the most important to you and write them down. 1) What are the “Must 
Haves”? Does someone have to be smart? Funny? The life of the party? 2) 
What are the “Should Haves?” Someone should be romantic. Should be spiritual.  3) What are the “Nice to Haves?” Sure, it would be nice if someone were romantic and told the best jokes at a party. But…you can let some qualities go in favor of others.  At least you have multiple qualities that you’re looking for.
The best thing about the One Hit Wonders is that we learn from them. We find out which characteristics of a person really are desirable and to what extent. Knowing what you want is an important first step. Finding that person may not be easy but it’s easier if you know that which you seek. So have fun going for gold!


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Say Hello to a Summer Romance and Bid Adieu to the Summertime Blues
Posted by Dating Guru on June 22, 2013 at 4:56 PM

Summer is here. And if you’re single, you don’t want summer to end two and a half months from now with those downer summertime blues.  During the days preceding Labor Day, when we’re forced to realize that summer is at its end, there should be no looking back with remorse over romance not had or passion not taken. Now, what could be more enjoyable and thrill-satisfying than the summer fling?
There’s even scientific support to encourage this seasonal desire. Being out in sunlight causes the brain to produce more serotonin, the neurotransmitter associated with mood elevation. Our self-esteem kicks in along with more energy, positivity and satisfaction. 
So summer’s here, you’ve got your serotonin levels up, your tan going and a little bit more of you is exposed to the world. Now that you’re feeling a bit sexier and a little more ready for action, it’s time to get out and make a summer splash.
Here are 10 ways to find your summer fling. You’ll want to initiate your actions to find an affair of the heart immediately, as summer’s Labor Day expiration comes quickly.
1) You’re out to stop taking it all so seriously: Remember…you need to be out seeking in order to find. You know every exit to your house. Well, make sure you are on the outdoors side of these exits while the sun still shines. Who knows what you might find once you’ve entered the great outdoors. Your big decision becomes which direction to go. A beach, lake, park, pool or the shore are all places to keep the serotonin and tan boosted.
2) This is not the time for “the one”: The summer fling is all about fun. The time is now to dip your toe into the outrageous and unthinkable and seek out adventure. Go out with your friends and dance the night away. You may even set off on a road trip before the sun rises. The fun will be finding out who you meet along the way. The only caveat is that the fling expectations, that this is only for the summer, need to be mutually agreed upon with whoever your partner is.
3) Use your social networks on- and off-line: There’s that person on Facebook that you have been intrigued by for a year. And now that same person has popped up on Instagram. Surely this is a sign to connect. Offline, try to cast a wider net. A friend of a friend has joined your group at happy hour. That’s a good time to ask him or her about potentials for you. Your goal is to seize every opportunity.
4) Step out on the dreaded blind date: So the friend of the friend has hooked you up. Now you’re dreading it. Just remember this is all about fun and you’re not thinking this is for keeps. But you really don’t know. How ironic if this set-up turns out to be the real deal?
5) Hookup with a dating site: Joining a dating site carries almost the same level of dread that a blind date does. Just think of putting up your profile to those in your geography as opening yourself up to more possibilities. Here are the benefits: You will get to connect with more people. It is always easier to show no interest online. There are many free sites available. And you may actually like one, two or even more of the possibilities you’re presented with. 
6) Go somewhere new: Everyone is a creature of habit; continuing to want to go where we’re known by
 name. This is the time to break out of the comfort zone; checking out a new restaurant or club is in order. But don’t wait until the night for the breakout. Escape from your office at lunch and see the sun. You never know who may be doing the same.
7) Spend less time with technology: You never know what you’re missing when your eyes are on your phone. Right now you’re thinking “Yes, I still see everything around me because I’m the uber-multitasker” but the truth is you can’t and you aren’t. This is all about romance with a person, not phone- or tech-love. And don’t let yourself get caught on your desktop
or laptop at night. The suggested investigation of interests on social sites 
was meant for pre-dark hours.
8) Romance on the job: The usual advice is to not embark on an office romance because of potential post-breakup fireworks. But if you’re in a summer or temp job, or there’s someone who works with you in that position, the light
 is green. As long as we’re in a working environment, we have daily hours committed. Now is the time to find benefits that go above and beyo
nd medical and dental.
9) The road trip is on: This getaway doesn’t have to be the vaca of your dreams but just a break from routine. How about a long weekend that’s within an hour’s drive? Or a group outing or tour? The place doesn’t need to be Vegas-crazy; never forgotten memories can be created anywhere. There will be plenty of others looking to make the same summer memories.
10) Volunteer for a cause other than yourself: If you aren’t working full time then you can give of yourself to organizations in need. Giving of your time can have the same effects as serotonin; positivity and satisfaction. Check out VolunteerMatch.org to find a place that fits your personality. There’s a good chance you'll be surrounded by similar, and date-worthy, people.
If you and your other have agreed to and defined your summer romance, by mid-August you’ll be thinking of the exit strategy. If the goodbyes don’t happen in September and you find yourselves together next summer, you’ve moved from fling and could be heading toward ring. Whether your romance is short-term or long-term, enjoy every self-fulfilling minute of it.



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When Should A Guy Give or Expect to Get the Invite to the Fantasy Suite?
Posted by Dating Guru on June 8, 2013 at 6:06 PM

The new "Bachelorette"" season started with a male contestant greeting the bachelorette for the first time with a key to the “fantasy suite.” For those of you who don’t watch the show, a night in the fantasy suite occurs near the end of the season, when the original 25 contestants have been whittled down to three remaining contestants. The fantasy suite date can make anyone watching uneasy as the implication is that one person, in this case the bachelorette, gets to test drive three candidates’ sex practices and that all participants are OK with this. 
While the guy in this instance thought the presentation of his fantasy suite key was a funny icebreaker that would get him an invitation to remain on the show, it was obvious by the bachelorette’s body language and words that she didn’t think the fantasy suite invitation was funny. Still, he persisted. He continued to make her uncomfortable with his solicitation to the point that she demanded that he leave the show immediately. 
Like the "Bachelorette" contestant, there are men who are aggressive and move forward, usually way too fast, to try for that sexual brass ring. A poor approach will usually get the aggressor rejected. 
So guys, when is it right to give out the fantasy suite card and know that the object of your desire is going to be open to joining you? You’re going to have to cool down and warm her up. Here are 5 things you’ll really want to consider doing:
1) Make Her Desire You: You have her attention since you’re together. Now is the time to show her your best side. These are "definites" you’ll want to share; your passion for life, a positive attitude, your life dreams, a show of respect and chivalry (Yes, women still appreciate having doors opened for them and a man walking by their side), and your sense of humor. Every girl is crazy about a sharp-dressed man so be your best-groomed self. Don’t leave all of your deodorant at home on the shelf.
But do leave these…laziness, neediness and negativity. This girl has already said “Yes!” to spending time with you. And she didn’t think she was coming to your pity party.
2) Make Her Feel Understood:  Do you understand the feelings she’s trying to share? The life lessons she’s learned? Then let her know. And let her know you can relate if you’ve had similar experiences. When you both feel really in sync, you start believing this amazing connection could transfer over to the bedroom. Hopefully, the sparks will soon be flying.
3) Make Her Laugh…Really Laugh: For all of the physical attributes a woman says she wants— how a guy is built or how he looks—a sense of humor she clicks with would almost always move above the physical to the top of the “must haves” list.  Whatever it is about shared laughter, it can get people ready to head to bed. Being funny is sexy. If you can get someone to that snorting or crying laugh more than once, you can most likely seal the deal for sex. 
4) Leave Her Wanting More than Your Really Good  Kissing:  A kiss is not
just a kiss. Many women consider it a testing ground for whether to take a relationship to the next level. Women have shared that if they get that kiss that drives them wild and gets them heated, they’re ready for what comes next. It can take two or three dates to have the kissing get to the weak-knees state but, by her response to your kiss, you’ll know when it’s time to move beyond just the passion of the puckered lips.
5) Show Her You Are Interested in Her: Talk to her, spend time with her, and…big reveal here….listen to her and what she has to say and share. Beyond talking and listening, try more subtle attempts to show interest. Casually compliment her with something like “Hey, that’s a great color on you.” Smile at her more often. Give her the chance to catch you looking at her. Give the quick hug. 
So what if you don’t want to be subtle? OK. Then tell her you’re interested in her. Girls are usually polite and won’t make you feel too bad if they don’t feel the same way. And you could find out for sure if you’re going to get to move ahead, or if it’s time to move on.
If you can put the check by each of the above, you shouldn’t end up like the poor "Bachelorette" candidate; circulating his local watering holes asking women to deplete his love tank. With your five moves accomplished, she’ll be more open and willing to have sex with you.

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Laws of Attraction: The Top 10 Turn-ons and Turn-offs
Posted by Dating Guru on May 23, 2013 at 3:28 AM

Even though physical attraction was probably what hooked you from the get go, you might have to admit Mom was right about this one. Once you get over the initial attraction, as much as you’d like to think otherwise, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. We’re not saying that looks don’t matter, because hey, no one wants to date a grenade…but finding someone with a mug that rivals Brad or Angelina’s, and has the brains to back it up, isn’t always easy.
That’s why we’ve simplified things. We already know you can pick the good-looking ones for yourself, so we’ve compiled a list of the biggest personality turn-ons and turn-offs so you can avoid or acquire the ones you want:
Confidence vs. Insecurity – Being sure of yourself is always a turn-on. No one wants to date someone who can’t even decide what they want off a dinner menu, let alone if they want a second date. Get your grit on, or move on.
Intelligence vs. Senselessness – It might have been cute in primary school to play dumb, but serious intelligence is way sexier than being a bimbo…or mimbo, if you’re a dude.
Self-Reliance vs. Dependency – Beyoncé had it right the first time; independent ladies rock… and independent men too, for that matter. It’s your life, so get a job, move away, fall in love and get out of your parent’s basement for goodness sake!
Live Volcano vs. Dead Fish – Everybody can see you’re good lookin’ but if you can’t carry on a conversation you might as well go out alone. **Keep the conversation rollin’** and make sure your fabulous personality shines through.
Courteous vs. Rude – You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats a waiter. A date who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to anyone, is a massive red flag. Rudeness is never excusable. A little bit of common courtesy takes you a long way. Maybe even all the way to date two.
In the end, aim high and never settle for less. Keep your eyes peeled for those movie star look-alikes, build your dream date and hope that once you get to know them, they have a dreamy personality to match. I mean, who wouldn’t want to date someone that’s the total package?

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He’s Just Not that Into You.. But Seriously - He’s Not
Posted by Dating Guru on May 11, 2013 at 1:10 AM

Most of us have skimmed the book and we’ve all seen the movie. We should all be very aware of the telltale signs by this point but I still find ladies with their heads in the clouds when it comes to those they choose to date... or text. Most posts on this subject deal with how to know when you’re actually dating but so much of the game, in this day and age, happens before the face to face even happens. For that reason, we’ll focus on what goes down from the first meeting/number exchange to the next hang out sesh... if there is one. 
1. His texts back are short and to the point 
He’s too nice to just leave you hanging but he’s not into it enough to keep the conversation going. When you ask how his week is going and he says, “Good.” - don’t take that as an open invitation to tell him how your week has been. He didn’t ask. He doesn’t care. 
2. He contacts you last minute...every time
He either doesn’t care enough to make plans ahead of time or thinks of you as a convenient option when his plans fall through. Nice right? No. Whether it’s a 1am text or a call to make plans in 30, don’t wait by the phone. You have things to do- so go out and do them. If he’s smart and actually wants to hang out, he’ll make an effort to request your presence ahead of time. 
3. He doesn’t initiate a hang out...ever
Most guys are traditional enough to know it’s their job to initiate a date. “But he texts me all the time,” you say. You know what I say? Wake up. Your relationship only exists in the cyber world so unless you’re looking for a virtual relationship, take a hint. 
4. The drag time is a drag 
When you’re hanging out, he can’t go 5 minutes without looking at his phone but when you contact him -  crickets. Either he’s busy (fingers crossed) or he just doesn’t care enough to respond in a timely manner. A few hours or a workday is one thing but days should tell you something. 
Sorry for the harsh reality ladies. Certainly there are exceptions to these rules but err on the side of caution. We all know that there’s nothing worse than a stage 5, let alone a stage 12 clinger, so sack up, get the hint and move on. 

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Why Does Size Matter? and 16 other Why? Questions Men Wish Women Would Answer
Posted by Dating Guru on April 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

"Why?” “Why??” “But WHY???” The countless “Whys” of childhood have tried many adults’ patience throughout time. Toddlers have inquisitive minds that are expanding and showing endless curiosity about the world. The concept of cause and effect is being understood; that there’s a reason for almost everything. 
The “Why?” is not limited to childhood.  As adults, we continue to question. And as soon as we start showing an interest in the opposite sex, we start with a whole new set of “Why?” questions.
When we were young, adults didn’t answer every “Why?” question we had. A key strategy for adults was to deflect the question and ask us what we thought the answer was. So ladies, if you get any of the 17 “Whys?” listed here, try this with him. While his answer may amuse you, try not to laugh — his mind is working in amazing ways as he puts together what information he has about the world from his male perspective. Of course, you can help him with an answer based on two “x” chromosomes.
17 “Whys” men would like to ask women accompanied by a female response:
1. Male: Why do you say you’ll be ready in 5 minutes and then you’re really ready one hour later?
Female: You want a trophy-supermodel to parade around with you, don’t you? This amazing hair does not do itself. And you know there is man time and woman time. Time passes differently for us both. Like you’ll be by in 5 minutes and I wait an hour. So we’re even?
2.Male: Why do you go to the bathroom in pairs?
Female: Who wants to walk across a big room alone only to find a long line upon bathroom arrival? This time gives us a chance to talk or gossip about the night, you or the girls we’re sure you’re looking at.
3.Male: Why do you overdress for every occasion?
Female: I know you think I look hot in shorts and running shoes but I also like to dress for me. I want to look good and feel good. It’s a preference and definite girl-thing.
4.Male: Why don’t you understand that I don’t want to go shopping with you?
Female: I love looking good (see #3) and making a statement with my style for me, you and our friends (and anyone else who cares to notice). Shopping is a pastime and even goes back to our female ancestors; as we were the gatherers. 
So shopping is not your thing as you can go into a store and come out with the one exact thing you went in for in less than 5 minutes.  Guess the equivalent could be you wanting me to spend the afternoon with you at the hardware store. So I do get it but I just want to share a passion.
5.Male: And on the shopping−Why do you have to have so many shoes?
Female: Maybe someday we’ll get that our adrenaline rush from shoes is equivalent to yours from driving fast. 
6.Male: Why do you ask us if we think another girl is pretty? We know if we say “Yes” then we’re in trouble.
Female: You can always say “Yes” but add “but not as pretty as you are.” We always like   your adoration confirmation.
7. Male: Why do you think it’s just girls who like a sense of humor and want someone who can make them laugh?
Female: Never thought about it being what a guy might want also. What better way to release tension than to laugh and share humor?  Let’s laugh together!
8.Male: Why don’t you like guys that are too nice?
Female: Don’t get me wrong. I like guys that are really nice for someone else; just not me. I simply can’t like a nonassertive, predictable doormat with no demands. 
9.Male: So why do girls like bad boys?
Female: I can save a bad boy by nurturing him with love. With me, he’ll be different. Bad boys need to be saved and nice guys don’t.  Besides, he’ll protect me and keep me secure while we take that little walk on the wild side. And if he doesn’t change, “nice” won’t seem so bad after all.
10.Male: Why do you think we are projects you can fix or change? 
Female: Boys with an element of bad usually do need some type of fixing so they become a project. We think if we can "create" the perfect man, he will never leave us. Also, if we're busy fixing someone else, we don't have to look at what needs to be fixed in our own lives.
11.Male: Why do you get so emotional and dramatic?
Female: I simply want to put you to the test. I seek attention because I want reassurance and affirmation that you care for me.
12.Male: Why do I get the silent treatment?
Female: “Nothing’s wrong, it’s fine.” Come on. You have to recognize that I’m NOT fine and if you DON’T try to make it better, I’m going to bring this up during every argument we may have for the next 20 years. So ask me what’s wrong until we talk it out.
13.Male: Why do you always ask what we’re thinking?
Female: Sometimes I want to talk to you and hope by asking that you’ll bring up a topic. Many times I wish you would say you’re thinking about me, even if you aren’t. I really just want to know that everything is OK with you−and us.
14.Male: Why do you always think I’m cheating on you?
Female: I get insecure and jealous. As long as you’re 100% honest and that I’m all you need, I’m good.
15.Male: Why does your need for sex lessen over time? 
Here’s a scientific response: Multiple studies conclude that men's sex drives are not only stronger than women's, but much more straightforward. The sources of women's libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down. In the end, the amount of sexual activity is an area requiring compromise from both parties.
16.Male: Why do you fake orgasms? 
Female: Well of course you know that I never fake *wink*. The reasons other females do might be to avoid hurting her guy’s feelings, because she has her own intimacy issues, she may just want “to get it over with,” or she wants to protect her man’s ego.
17.Male: Why does size matter? Or does it?
Female: First, your size is perfect. Mostly, we don’t care about size. Yes, there may be a few that say penis size is significant. Penises are like the best toys; no matter what they look like, we just want to play with them. Our focus isn't on size; we focus more on what you do with it. The size of a man's ego is what we worry about more. If it's too big, it can take all of the fun out of it.
Next time a guy asks “WHY???” ladies, try directing the question back at him. But you can always share an answer from the female point-of-view so that both of you can learn and grow together.

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